Yep, if you talk about a problem, you could feel a little better… but only for a short time and then after a while you start feeling guilty or frightened or angry or sad or frustrated all over again. Perhaps you have noticed this in your life as well; I know I have.
Why is the relief brought by catharsis only temporary? Why is the healing promised by getting something off one’s chest just an illusion? The answer could be found in oatmeal!
I love oatmeal, don’t you? It’s delicious! I’ve noticed that when I cook oatmeal over a high flame, it tends to boil over and that’s too messy. So I’ve found that if I just stir the oatmeal fast enough, it won’t boil over. Problem solved? Not so much! Because as soon as I stop stirring, it begins to boil over again. That brings us to a fork in the road, do we spend our time and energy perpetually stirring our emotion affliction’s boiling pot of oatmeal; or do we simply turn down the flame?
O.K. I’ll admit that Catharsis is only a short term, and temporary solution… but what could be wrong with that? How could that possibly harm me now, or in the future? Simple! Pain is a motivator. Pain, be it physical or emotional, makes us take action. When we burn our finger don’t we instinctively pull it away from the heat source at a speed that is faster than thought and stronger than pride? What would happen to our finger if we didn’t remove it from the heat source? What if we just “dealt” the pain with some sort of a special forces pain management technique? We’d loose the finger! I don’t want to lose my finger, it’s so useful; especially for expressing myself in traffic.
The greatest Buddhist sages, throughout the ages, have insisted that every incident of emotional suffering is an opportunity for spiritual growth. If, we allow the emotional pain of guilt or sorrow or fear or anger or frustration to drive us to take constructive action, if we approach an accomplished teacher, if we receive his guidance and if we put his instructions into practice, then we could experience fabulous spiritual growth as well as profound emotional relief. But if we just vent those painful emotions, if we just journal them out, or paint them out, or verbally vomit all over our dearest friends and relatives {and oh how they must love that} then we are just temporarily suspending our pain, while the real problem lurks about, unhindered. Then, we are missing out on a golden opportunity for dynamic growth and intense emotional relief.
Let’s explore that a bit. Couldn’t Catharsis be hard on those we verbally vomit upon? Everything we think, emote, say and do has an energy signature. Take two plants, in the same house, in front of the same window. All things being equal, if the first plant is subjected verbal vomit and the second is lavished with praise and adoration; couldn’t the first plant just whither and the second plant flourish? Let’s face it, dumping on others could really wear them out and exhaust them. How drained and weak and used could some lady feel after Dracula has made a meal of her neck? Is it any surprise that those who chronically, verbally-vomit are often referred to as “Energy Vampires?”
Come on kids, let’s not treat our friends or relatives like some toilet we barf our stinking emotional filth into. And come to think of it, let’s not treat our spiritual teachers that way either.
If Catharsis could be poison, then why is it so popular? Because it is quick and easy. Oh sure it is expensive in the long term but you try explaining that to the Inner: slack-jaw, gap-tooth, knuckle-dragging, cave-man we call an Id. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t encounter folks who choose catharsis over spiritual guidance in a New York minuet.
Catharsis could wear many disguises. Sometimes it takes the form of being “over talkative,” subtly boastful or even trying to control the conversation. An encounter with a teacher could be a great test.
Many people make appointments to receive private teaching sessions with their spiritual guide. When entering the presence of an accomplished Lama, whether in person or even over the phone; those who are perceptive can feel a shift. Internally they could feel intense waves of enthusiasm, gratitude or devotion and externally, even the air itself could feel electric.
It is ideal for the student to passively listen, really drinking up their Lama’s instructions and blessings; in very much the same way a dry and thirsty sponge could drink up moisture once it has been dropped into a sink of warm, sudsy water. The flow of energy Must be decidedly one-way. How then could we give back to our teacher? Physically we can give our Lama cash gifts and Spiritually we can respectfully, gratefully and enthusiastically apply his instructions.
The prideful, fearfully, tumultuous and controlling momentum of a chronic Energy-vampire could balk at this. Whether deliberately or unconsciously the energy-vampire could self-righteously Cathart by debating or discussing or commenting on almost every statement the teacher makes while also attempting to befriend or belittle the Lama. A “back and forth” energy is not conducive to rapid learning or evolution, but… it sure can feed the Energy-vampire’s sense of Self-importance. While this exercise is Not spiritually productive, it can dampen his experience of his own emotional afflictions… at least temporarily; thus we could see an ugly form of indirect Catharsis in action.
In the 2006 film “The Guardian” Kevin Costner’s character Ben Randall demonstrates that in an open-water crisis situation, a coast guard rescue swimmer’s first priority is not to make friends with the victim, but to get him into the rescue vessel as soon as possible, at all costs. If the victim tries to fight off the rescue swimmer in any way, it could mean his or both their lives. Likewise you and I have been floundering in Samsara’s ocean of guilt and fear and anger and sorrow and frustration and other emotional as well as physical afflictions for many, many lives. Right now we don’t need another pal, we need a spiritual guide, whether you call that teacher: Guru, Pandita, Bhante, Ajahn, Roshi, Shifu, Lama or Rinpoche, what you require is a teacher.
Remember the ultimate test of your Lama’s instructions is Not his prestige, fame and reputation or their popularity nor your logic or intuition. According to the Buddha the only test of the teachings is how well they work for you, when you apply them correctly and consistently. Forgetting your fearful or controlling tendencies resolve not to fight your teacher in any way, shape or form and instead choose to gratefully, enthusiastically and respectfully receive his instructions knowing that just as the proof of the pudding is in the tasting; likewise the validity of his teachings could be found in the taming of your sorrow, fear and anger as well as the augmentation of your love, peace, insight and happiness. So drink them in, like a dry and thirsty sponge that has fallen into a sink full of warm, sudsy water.
personal instruction from a Buddhist Monk over the telephone
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