Love minus Respect

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Tips on Meditation and the Spiritual path - idea #158
from your Buddhism expert



Love minus Respect



Here is a simple equation :

“Love minus Respect equals Abuse”


Love is a word who’s meaning is often forgotten. It
is always a mistake to confuse love with:
• affection,
• sentimentality,
• lust,
• possessiveness
• or familiarity.


Remember, love and compassion are two sides of the
same coin. While love desires to lavish it’s object
with every blessing, compassion longs to take-away
it’s object’s sufferings and their causes.


If another feels sentimental or affectionate towards
us, but is not terribly concerned with our happiness
and well-being; although that may be many things,
it is not love.


Could you imagine what it could be like to have a
friend or relative who simply did not treat you with
respect? What could it be like to have a companion,
maybe even a lover, who was cruel, pushy or
demeaning? That individual may be familiar,
possessive or even lust after us but that is not
love.


Love is a choice, love is a decision, and love is a
habit. You can’t make someone love you, no matter
how much you love them. And kids, “leading by
example” will only take you so far.


Let’s talk about manifesting… you know when you say
to the universe, “Hey, this is what I desire!” Few
people know, that once we’ve made our desire known,
the cosmos often whispers back, “O.K., now tell me
what you’ll settle for.”

My friend, there is only ONE correct answer to that
question: “I’ll settle for exactly what I desire,
and nothing less!”


Yes, it can take nerves of steel to stare down our
own:
• fear,
• insecurities,
• low self esteem,
• and even the universe’s metaphysical desire
to conserve energy. But friends, let me tell you,
once we develop the habit of politely yet firmly
saying “NO thank you” to anything that is not in our
best interest, things will change.


Whether we see, feel, or understand it or not,
someone, something, everyone and everything is
always watching what we’ll settle for. When we make
it abundantly clear what we won’t settle for, we’ll
notice a change in that which we habitually manifest.


In conclusion: do your friends, lovers and
companions respect:
• you,
• your wishes,
• needs
• and feelings?

If not, gently but firmly express your
dissatisfaction. But what should you do if that is
to no avail? Then find new, friends, lovers and
companions. You have nothing to lose, but your
suffering!


Om Mani Padme Hum,
Lama Jigme Gyatso
Tibetan-Buddhist: Monk, Teacher, Healer and Tantrika

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