Petty One-ups-manship

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Tips on Meditation and the Spiritual path - idea #192
from your Buddhism expert



George has a problem with petty one-ups-manship.
He characteristically and habitually dis-empowers
others in an effort to enhance his self esteem.
Perhaps an example could help.


George’s friend, John, is in a difficult
relationship. The other night John had an epiphany
about his partner, Marsha. It increased both his
insight into her character as well as his compassion
for her dilemma.


When John tried to share this good
news with his friend, George, it did not work out
very well. In a fit of petty one-ups-manship George
could not help but verbally cut-off John and exclaim “I could have
told you that a year ago!”


Why would George rudely cut his friend off?
Because he is allowing himself to be a slave to his
impulses.

Why didn’t George congratulate John on his insight?
Because George loves himself far more then his
friend. And making himself feel good seemed much
more important to George, than making his friend
feel good.

Why didn’t George empathetically contemplate how
Marsha must be suffering? Why didn’t he
compassionately consider what he and John could do
on Marsha’s behalf? Because he was far more
interested in increasing his sense of
self-importance than he was in diminishing Marsha’s
suffering or increasing her happiness.

Why?

Why has George drifted so far from the shores of
love and compassion? “Why” does not matter. The
fact that he has low self-esteem and chronically as
well as bombastically seeks to over compensate by
diminishing others and lauding himself is not the
issue. What is the issue? Or, even more importantly,
what is the solution?


Simple! The solution is found {the solution is
always found} through the cunning use of
Buddha’s mental yogas of:
• Love and
• Letting-go!


Trying to fill the bottomless pit of chronically
low self esteem is like trying to fill the Grand
Canyon one thimble at a time. What could work
better then that?


Simple, on one hand we can choose to channel our
neurotic energy into lovingly meeting the needs of
others. And one the other hand, when we experience
the feelings of low self-esteem, and it’s foolish
impulses, we can bring them into the path of
Letting-go, by using Buddha’s mental yogas
{or techniques}.


But couldn’t that require a vast reservoir of
awareness and strength? Yes, it could. How? How
could we do that? What are some of the things we
could do to increase our awareness and strength?


My friend, the answer could be even easier then you
imagine. You do not have to shave your head, change
your name or wear funny clothes. Nope, the answer
could be much simpler than that.


Just 5 minuets of highly effective, profoundly
centering, and deeply peaceful meditation, twice
daily, could really go a long ways to building your
stores of strength and awareness.


Om Mani Padme Hum,
Lama Jigme Gyatso
Tibetan-Buddhist: Monk, Teacher, Healer and Tantrika


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